I always hated high school. I never felt like I belonged with anyone in my classes, except for a few people, but that was only on a mild level. Waking up for school often made me very angry. Ever since I graduated though, a lot of the anger and depression I felt in high school is being forgotten, as well as the reasons behind them.
6:14 p.m.: Sitting in my car in a McDonald's parking lot en route to PGH. I need to get back on the road soon so I can't waste time writing. I'm waiting for Shane to get done going to the bathroom in McDonald's where I have just used the bathroom. It's very nice inside. Much nicer than any in Altoona. We left Altoona at around 5:15 p.m. The GPS says we'll get there around 7:05 p.m. but this stop will obviously set us back some. Before we left, I took Jolene to get her dad a fathers day gift. I'm really happy when I'm with Jolene. She's a wonderful person. ----- Shane's back. Time to go.
The rest of the drive was crazy. An hour before PGH, the rain hit us hard. I could hardly see out the window. But we found Allison's house pretty easily. Her house is really interesting to me because I never see things like that in Altoona. I stepped inside and met what room mates were hanging around. I ended up giving them all a ride to the show but they were really cool people so I didn't mind. Not to mention, from Allison's house to the venue was quite the walk.
I was driving down the alley to park in a no parking zone where everyone else was parked. Their were a bunch of hipsters standing in the alley drinking P.B.R. and 40's. I thought that was really cool. As I was driving down the alley, they stepped aside to let me through. But I ended up driving my car into a pot hole full of water and it splashed all the hipsters up to their knees. I heard a big "Aw!!" and I couldn't help but laugh. No one seemed very upset about it though. Way to invade a scene I thought.
I stood around watching everyone drink beer and then I heard a bass being tuned. I hurried inside. I sat down on a wooden couch and I was approached by a man with shaved head and horn rimmed black glasses. He held 5 fingers up and a permanent marker up. I quickly pulled out five dollars from my wallet and handed it to him. He returned my purchase with a black line across my right hand. Standard procedure for showing that you payed at a punk rock show.
Drug Lust was the first band to play. I really liked their performance. Luke, their singer, was in "Evil Mode." Chris, the bassist and long time good friend of mine had some fake blood running down his forehead into his mouth. It looked pretty convincing though. The guitar player had a Ronald Reagan mask on and someone had put an upside cross on its forehead. Hilarious. They played all these funny sound clips on a tape recorder before most of their songs. About drugs, Satan worship, and a quote from Charles Manson that I would recognize anywhere. I couldn't help but laugh at most of these. They were fast, angry and heavy. I loved it.
As I sit here against the wall on the floor, I'm waiting for the next band to play, Forest Dweller. I'm hearing all kinds of strange noises as they set up. Forest Dweller is playing and its just a lot of loud noise. I'd rather not watch. I keep staring at people here. Their tattoos, their beer, their clothes. I admire most of it. I can't help but stare. I never see this where I'm from. I feel apart of it. Like I should move here. I love it
(Sometime around 5 a.m.): Slices set up and the bald man with horn rimmed glasses took the mic. I could smell a lot of beer and body odor as everyone crowded him with me in the middle of everything. I kind of liked it. I certainly didn't mind the smell. He said, "Thank you for coming. We're playing every song we know. 1, 2, 3, 4..." in a very monotone voice and the band started playing Nub City, my favorite Slices song. I lost control and started slamming my body into others. I felt beer splash against my chest. I ran around so fast that I ended up having a headache at the end of their first song. The band played the rest of their set and I continued to rage with it.
As the band was tearing down their equipment I walked up to the singer and said, "I heard you guys have a full length?" He said, "We do. It's 12 bucks. Is that cool?" I nodded. "Follow me to the back," he said. I bought the record, hung out and talked to the locals. Chris from Drug Lust invited me to his house for a party. I told him I could only hangout for an hour because I had to be getting to Allentown. He said, "FUCK ALLENTOWN!" I should have listened, partied at his house and slept there. His house is an apartment building on top of an optometrist office. I carried some of the drum equipment up the stairs with the rest of the people carrying instruments and beer. Shane and I sat in the living room drinking Gatorade. The first drink I had seen in a long time. I was thirsty as hell. Luke was clearing some space as he filled the void of silence with a mix CD he started playing through a small boom box. Ramones, The Marked Men, The Misfits were a few of the bands I recognized.
Chris' apartment was covered in beer cans and dirt. I loved it. Allison invited me to climb out the window at one point. I thought she was crazy. But as I got up to climb out with her I noticed that Chris had his very own roof top front porch. A perfect place to sit out, drink P.B.R. and listen to punk rock. 11 p.m. rolled around and I decided that we should get going. Before I left Chris offered to me that I could stay at his house any week at any time. I really appreciate that offer. I will most likely take him up on that very soon.
Shane and I were just now leaving Pittsburgh. We got on the turnpike going east towards Harrisburg and my GPS blurted "Drive 105 miles then take exit right." We both laughed about the ridiculous distance as we drove down the dark highway. It was extremely foggy. So intense. Listening to Pink Floyd instrumental tunes made it almost scary. I loved it. Arrival time estimate in Allentown: 4:09 a.m. I passed several gas stations and I really should have stopped at one of them. I had half a tank of gas. 30 miles left on the turnpike, Shane and I see a sign that says "Altoona Exit 1 Mile." I said, "I feel like we should take that just so we get home safe." Shane said something, I can't remember what, but it wasn't very encouraging or discouraging. So I kept driving and saw a sign that said "Turnpike Service Plaza Next Right." I slowed down out of cruise control by pressing the brake and started crossing from the middle lane to the right to get gas, food, rest and give the car a breather. Then BOOM! Everything fell to shit!
The car skidded to the side of the road and we almost crashed into a grass bank but I was able to steer the car straight on the side of the road out of harms way. Shane and I thought we popped a tire. None of the tires were popped. We yelled to get out the adrenaline that just hit us like a train. We even laughed hysterically. Maybe I enjoy the excitement of near death experiences. After we both took a piss on the turn pike with no regard to who saw our private parts, we decided to get back in the car and try and make it to the gas station that was 50 feet away. The car is not moving smoothly at all. It sounds like children being grinded on train tracks by a million freight trains.
We decide to walk to the gas station and ask for help. Shane's phone-dead. My phone- shutting on and off and not operating very well. I call my parents when my phone allows me to, no answer. We get to the gas station and I explain what happened. The guy gave me a number for road side assistance. We walked to a nearby restaurant, plugged Shanes phone in and gave it a few seconds to charge before we called. I explained as best I could what happened and where we were. I was told to wait at the restaurant for a tow truck. The tow truck got my car and us and he drove us to the turnpike garage in Bedford. He told us to wait in the lounge and then an hour later he came in to see us. He showed us that something that connects the axle to the car snapped off. How the fuck does that happen? Wear and tear the old guy says.
So now I'm stuck at rock fucking bottom in the middle of nowhere. Shanes watching T.V. I'm writing and freaking out inside over things I don't want to talk about. I want to sleep but I can't. Fuck everything mode in full effect.
7:26 A.M.: Still here in the lounge. I passed out for a few hours. I keep calling my house but I get no answer. I wonder how long I'll be here? This is going to cost me everything. I should get some more sleep. I'm dirty. Sweaty. I feel like I'm on tour but with no reason to. I'm not out here playing music. I'm just out here. Fuck this. Fuck cars. They don't work. Nothings works. Gonna try and sleep now.
9:11 A.M.: My parents finally called me back. My dads pretty upset. I guess I'm paying the repairs on the "lower ball joint." Whatever the fuck that is. This is fucking stupid. Guess I'll be here longer. I have---Dad called back. Says I'm gonna pay a couple hundred bucks. I don't have that on me. He asked why I just didn't call him. I've been calling their cell phone and house phone since 1:30 a.m. when this bullshit nightmare started. Shane said earlier, "Every time my life takes 3 steps forward it takes 305 back. I just want to kill and destroy." I agree completely. He's been passed out most of the time. I'm restless. I'm exhausted. I'm grinding my teeth together. Fuck you. Back turned on me again. You're not my fucking friend. Build me up to watch me fall every time. Is it even worth it to put yourself out there when you just get drop kicked in the head and feel the pain for days in your heart? Like a boulder in my chest. Why do I try? Some times the pain feels good. Maybe I should get some sleep. I'll be driving home eventually.
I was woken up by an old couple who had popped a tire around 12. They were very loud coming into the lounge. They asked me how long I'd been in the lounge and made small talk. Finally the car was fixed. They had to take me to a nearby ATM so I could pay them $247.89. A big dent in my savings. The car runs a lot smoother than it did before though. An accident waiting to happen I suppose. Shane and I are back in my basement. I'm hungry, I don't want to eat. I'm dirty, I don't want to shower. I'm tired, I don't want to sleep. I'm lonely, no one I can turn to. I'm back home, I want to be back on the road forever. Guess I'm stuck in Altoona awhile longer. I wonder what will send me into fuck everything mode next?
